The Sound of Silence
by janie17
Summary: A long car trip, the middle of the night, emotions flare and Ianto confronts Jack.


Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood. Nor am I affiliated with Simon & Garfunkel, I just thought that their song would be a great title for this.

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Ianto watched the road pass as he rested his head against the passenger window of the SUV. Every now and then the headlights of another vehicle would slowly grow closer until they passed and the taillights faded into the distance, but, for the most part, he and Jack were alone on the road. He yawned as he pulled his feet onto the seat with him.

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to close your eyes and sleep the rest of the way. If you want," Jack said softly, turning to glance at the sleepy Welshman.

"No, I'm fine." His warm breath fogged the window and he absentmindedly drew a frowny-face as Jack spoke.

"No offence, Yan, but you aren't really one for conversation at three in the morning, so it doesn't really matter."

"You're probably right," he agreed, smiling. Never one for nicknames, it had always bothered him when anyone shortened his name, but for some reason it always sounded sweet coming from Jack. "I know you already said, but tell me again why we couldn't just get a hotel in Glasgow for the night instead of driving all the way there and back to Cardiff in one day?"

Jack groaned. "Because! It is great driving weather and this time of night the roads are empty, so there's no hassles to deal with. And why pay for a hotel room when it's not really necessary?"

"Not really necessary?"

"Exactly."

"You suck," Ianto grumbled.

Chuckling, Jack said, "I didn't know you were in the mood, but I'll pull over if you'd like." The younger man reached out and smacked him lightly on the arm, too tired to put any strength behind it. "Hey!" he squawked. "No hitting the driver!"

Ianto turned his head enough to give him a stern, yet sleepy, glare before going back to watching the road. He let his thoughts go calm as his breathing evened, though he wasn't quite asleep. They rode for a while in silence before Jack broke it again.

"What are you thinking about?" Without looking, Ianto knew the look Jack had given him. He could tell by the soft, low tone he had used. The look was one of intense curiosity that showed true interest to find the answer to whatever question he had asked and it never failed to make the hair on Ianto's arms stand on end. It felt as if the older man was trying to look into his heart and soul.

"Nothing," he murmured back quietly.

"Seriously?" Jack's tone was doubtful.

Ianto chuckled lightly. "For once."

"How does it feel?"

"Hmm?"

"You're always thinking, does it feel strange not to?"

"I don't know, does it?" he muttered under his breath, tone bitter.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Well it sure sounded like something," Jack snapped.

Ianto felt a simmering bubble of anger in his stomach begin to stir. Dropping his feel to the floor board he turned to look at the man beside him. "Fine," he said coolly. "It was something. I insinuated that you would know how not thinking feels because it is obviously a feeling you are used to."

Jack snorted. "Bullshit. I think. Contrary to popular belief, I don't just rely on luck and charm. I think."

"Not when it counts."

"Excuse me?"

The bubble burst, and the anger which had been building inside Ianto for months came pouring out. "You left, Jack. You died, then you left! And it hurt. It still hurts. I know you came back and I forgave you, but that doesn't change the fact that you left me." His voice broke as he fought back tears, determined not to cry. "And there is no way you could have thought about it beforehand, because that would mean that you _chose_ not to say goodbye, or even leave a note, which would be a lot harder to forgive. You left me, Jack."

In stunned silence, he pulled the car to the side of the road. "I…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ianto." He placed a hand on the younger man's thigh, squeezing slightly. "Maybe I haven't apologised enough. Maybe I can never apologise enough. But I am so sorry. You have to know that I didn't intend for it to go that way. I would never choose to leave you, Ianto. Never. And I am so sorry."

"I know, I do," Ianto said sadly, lacing their fingers together. "But no matter how much I believe you, it doesn't hurt any less."

Jack sighed heavily. "I wish I could fix it. I wish I could take it back—and believe me I tried, but He wouldn't let me cross my own timeline. But I also wish you'd told me you were still mad."

"I'm not mad. I understand about the Master and Martha and everything, but it's deeper than that. I don't know—"

"If you can trust me?"

"Yeah." Ianto took a deep breath, uncomfortable with discussing his emotions. "There is always a reminder that you could just disappear again just sitting in the back of my mind. It's not like it would be out of character for you. Anyways, I probably care for you more than you care for me. I am just another name on a very long list for you." He frowned, looking away, not wanting Jack to see the hurt concealed behind his matter-of-fact tone.

"Ianto," he sighed. "Ianto, just look at me." With his free hand, Jack grabbed the younger man's chin and turned his face, locking their eyes together. "You are not just another name on a list. You are so special. There have been others because I have been around for so long. Longer than my personnel file—which I know you stole by the way—speculates. But I have never in my life met anyone else quite like you."

Ianto smiled fondly. "You're full of shit. But thank you for saying it."

It was Jack's turn to frown as he sternly said, "I'm serious. You never believe me, but I am. I wouldn't waste my time or breath saying something I didn't mean. And I care about you so much it makes me sick know that someday I will lose you, one way or another."

Ianto leaned across the centre console and firmly pressed a kiss to Jack's lips. Pulling back a fraction, he whispered, "I'm not going anywhere."

Jack recaptured Ianto's lips in a sweet kiss before pulling away and placing one on his forehead. "I know you think that, but—"

"Jack," he interrupted, frowning. "Is this really the time to discuss my unfortunate mortality and the life expectancy of Torchwood employees?"

"No. I suppose not," Jack sighed.

"Then we won't talk about it now," Ianto said with finality.

"You're right, as usual. It's late. We can leave it till another time when we've both slept." Jack steered the SUV back onto the empty road as Ianto settled back against the window closing his eyes.

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AN: I hope you liked this. It came to me randomly one night and I just had to write it.

Check out my other Torchwood fics if you liked this one!

Reviews are beautiful!


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